Toki No Hourousha
by GundamWingFanatic90
Summary: Complete. Sequel to 'Angel'. "I guess that I now have no hope left. My hope fled the day he died." CloTi, rated for angst and blood.
1. Toki No Hourousha

Hey, guys. This is the Fanatic again, writing yet another sappy story for y'all. I really appreciated the reviews that the last story, Angel, got. I'm glad you all liked it, even though it was pretty sad in the end. This one's kinda sad, too, but it ends well. I hope you like it, and thanks to everyone who reviewed, including Yunie Tidus, General Cloud, and Rinny Leonheart. Thanks so much to all of you! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor any of its characters or places. I only own the plot. Nor do I own the song Toki No Hourousha (Wanderer of Time). That is from Final Fantasy VI, and is also owned by Square Soft/ Square Enix.

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**Toki No Hourousha  
**by GundamWingFanatic90  
5-24-05

_Haruka tooku yoru o koete  
Sabaku no umi o samayou  
_  
**Crossing the distant night,  
Wandering the desert sea.**

I watched hollowly as Yuffie played with Marlene near the trees to my left, laughing slightly amongst themselves. I wasn't so lucky as to be able to be so happy. Only a month ago, Cloud Strife, my Cloud, had been killed by the evil scientist, Hojo. Cloud had been captured the day after our last night together, the one night of heaven that I was allowed. He had been held, tortured, and experimented on for over a month before we finally rescued him, only to have him die in my arms. I would never be able to get over his last moments. Never.

My heart ached at the thought of my lost lover. I listened to my surroundings, attempting to find Yuffie and Marlene with my ears to take my mind off of my dismal thoughts. However, when I couldn't hear them anywhere near where I was, I barely panicked, knowing that Yuffie could take care of both herself and Marlene quite well if needed, and I arose from my seat at the base of the tree, deciding to go for a walk.

The barren paths of Mt. Neibel were empty as I followed them along a familiar route, my thoughts again in the sapphire ocean of the sky. The clouds soared overhead and around me, white whales and other things alive in the atmosphere, which I was high up in. Finally, the path ended, and I found myself at the one place I had, a little over two months ago, wished I'd never have to see again. But right then, I needed all the consoling I could have.

"Mother..." I whispered, standing over the marble headstone. "I need your advice."

_Kami no koe wa shinkirou  
Wasurerareta hitobito_

**The gods' voices are mirages;  
The forgotten people.**

I could almost hear mom's voice on the wind as I knelt down in front of the stone monument. Mom, can you hear me? Can you sense my pain? Tears filled my eyes as a familiar ache filled my chest, and a light breeze ruffled my long hair as I looked out over the plains of the Eastern Continent. I closed my eyes, and leaned into the wind, savoring the sensation. It felt like Cloud's touch, caressing my cheek like he had done so many times as I slept. Like he had done on that night, when I allowed him to take me to the realm of the living and the kingdom of the dead, and all the places in between. I had felt like I was flying.

"Tifa..." I thought I could even hear his voice. I felt something around my shoulders, causing me to jump, and I whirled around to come face-to-face with none other than the ghostly incarnation of my dead lover. His eyes were sad, his expression the same way, and full of longing and pain as his glowing blue eyes took in my figure.

"Cloud...?" I asked hopefully, almost wishing it was true. A translucent finger over my lips silenced me, only to be replaced by his mouth a second later. Cloud, is it really you? Can you really be here, kissing me? These were my thoughts as the tears leaked out of my eyes. Cloud pulled back, staring into my own wine-colored irises, before he began to fade, stroking my cheek gently as he went. Soon he was out of sight, and I broke down again, sobbing into my hands as the rain began to fall on my shoulders and head.

_Kage wa shiroku yurameki tatsu  
Ima hitotabi no maboroshi_

**Shadows flicker palely, then stand;  
For one moment, an illusion.**

The power was out, the hour was late, and the thunder boomed overhead as I sat at my desk, writing a letter. The strange light of the candle at my left elbow threw odd shadows on the walls, but I didn't care as I re-read my final draft. It said:

**_My dear and most treasured friends,_**

_**I am so sorry for what I am about to do. I know that it may seem to have no reason behind it, but trust me when I say that there is. My words may seem like they are not my own, but they are.**_

_**My heart is broken,  
it is bleeding on the floor.  
My eyes are red and puffy  
as I move out of the door.  
I haven't been myself lately,  
an empty shell of what I was:  
The other half of my soul,  
lost to an unimportant cause.  
He died a cruel death,  
leaving me alone.  
To suffer through this life,  
all on my own.  
My soulmate he is,  
alive when he was,  
and my heart aches  
whenever I think of our love.  
I must leave, now,  
I must go to him.  
I know that he would not want me to,  
but I don't go on a whim.  
I have thought long and hard,  
thought deeply on this,  
and I'll seal my last breath,  
with a cold, yet sweet, kiss.  
I hope you do not miss me,  
I hope you do not grieve.  
Because I know  
that I'll find  
a better part of me.**_

**_I know that it is not easy to let go, oh, I know so well. I still haven't been able to get over him. I don't think I ever will. I must tell you all something, though, that I have been hiding for a long time: I am dying. I have been dying since the day that Cloud died. I feel hollow, and my spirit is slowly, but surely, departing for the LIFESTREAM. I just do not want to wait any longer. I hope you can forgive me, I hope so much. Heh, I've always been the optimist of our group, haven't I? I guess that I now have no hope left. My hope fled the day he died. My friend, my lover, my Cloud. I will see you all sooner or later, whenever you come to join me. Just please, do not let my death drag you down. I will always watch over you all from wherever I am going to. I know that you'll all probably be sad and miss me- that's just the way you are- but whenever you need someone to talk to, I'll be right there. Just call my name, and I'll come. I love you all, so much. You are all my family, my friends. Just know that I do love you, and that I would never try to hurt you. Goodbye._**

_**From your loving sister, friend, and comrade,**_

**_Tifa Lockheart  
"May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm on your face. May the rain fall soft on your fields. May you be in heaven for three days before the devil knows you're dead, and may God hold you in the palm of His hand until we meet again."_**

I folded up the letter, sealed it, and placed it on my desk for the others to find when they went to wake me in the morning. Then, I donned my black cloak and silently slipped out the door, picking up my dagger as I went.

Neibelheim was quiet in the dark, stormy night, and I crept through it, unnoticed, making my solitary way towards the one special place upon the mountain looming ominously overhead: the place where we buried Cloud's body. That was where they would find me the next morning when they went searching for me. They would find me with my love. I am sorry, everyone. Please do not blame yourselves or Cloud for this, as it is my own decision.

I finally arrived at Cloud's grave and, kneeling on the soft, wet earth, I held my dagger out in front of me. I am so sorry... but I need you, Cloud. I can't live in this world or any other without you. I am sorry. With these thoughts in my mind, I plunged the dagger into my heart.

I love you.

_Aoku moeru yuusha no yume  
Towa ni nemuru hitobito_

**A hero's dream, burning blue,  
The people, sleeping forever.**

I can only see white. All is blank and burning agony is in my chest. I cannot breathe, I do not need to. Tears slide down my face as I realize that I have just killed not only myself, but another life, as well, one whose spirit is still growing in my womb as it would in the realm of the living. I try to lay a hand on my stomach, but I cannot move. I am curled into a fetal position, just like my baby, Cloud's baby, would have been if it had still been alive. I am so sorry, little one. I did not know that I had you. My eyes clench shut, and I cannot measure the depth of my sorrow, grief, and guilt as even more tears escape my grasp. Then there are arms around me, and all of the pain vanishes, all of the negative emotions disappear, and I am filled with nothing but a soothing peace. I am able to move again, breathe again, and I open my eyes to see Cloud there, solid as I saw him the last day he was alive.

"Cloud..." I breathe. He smiles, but it the expression almost looks foreign on his face, forced, and I can see the sadness, concern, and heart-wrenching guilt that lies beneath the surface.

"Yes, Tifa. It's me." he says. He strokes the side of my face, allowing the smile to dissolve for me to see the raw emotion underneath: joy, love, grief, guilt- they are all there. I feel my eyebrows draw together.

"Cloud, what's wrong?" I ask. Tears fill his beautiful eyes, and he cups my cheek with his hand. I am now thoroughly confused, but he doesn't stop at my cheek. His rough, calloused hand slides down my neck to touch my collarbone, his fingertips butterfly wings on my soft skin, and then he gently brushes them down to rest over my heart. His eyes have followed his hand, I see, and they are so pained it hurts me to watch.

"You killed yourself..." he whispers. He looks up into my eyes. "Why, Tifa? Why did you take your life, and the life of our baby?" I feel tears threaten to spill again, and I draw a shaking breath into my lungs.

"Because I couldn't live anymore." I say just as quietly as he did. "You are the other half of my soul, Cloud Strife. You were my hope, my light, the one who gave me a reason to live. When you died, I didn't have a cause to remain there anymore. I did not know I was pregnant, so I took my own life, thinking that I would never be able to live on my own. Cloud, even if I had known that I was going to have a baby, I wouldn't have made it through the third month. My body was dying, as was my soul. You were my reason to live. When I lost you, I lost it." I am sobbing now, large, pearlescent tears cascading down my face as I close my eyes and wait for his verbal berating. But it doesn't come. Instead, he pulls me to him and lays my head on his shoulder. His hand strokes my hair, and I nestle into his embrace, still crying. It takes a while, but eventually I am quieted, though still shaking.

"It's alright, Tifa..." he says, but I shake my head.

"No, it isn't. I had no right to kill myself. I killed my baby, Cloud!" I exclaim, my voice trembling. His eyes suddenly turn fierce, and he pulls me away from him, taking me by my shoulders to look me in the eye.

"Teef, it was our child." he says huskily, his eyes sad and yet sincere at the same time. "I wish you wouldn't have killed yourself. I love you, Tifa, but you did not need to feel such pain." I cast my gaze downward, my face mirroring the motion, but a second later, his fingers on my chin tilt my head upwards again. "Tifa, I love you. You know that, don't you?" I give a small nod of my head. "Then you had all you should have needed to allow you to live. Teef, I was always with you, and I still am. Did you know that? I missed you dearly- good God I did- but despite that, I wish I could have waited many more years before seeing you again." I open my mouth to speak, hurt, but he silences me with a press of his mouth to mine. When he pulls away, he looks me in the eye, though our faces are still only mere millimeters apart. "I wish you would have found someone else, someone who wouldn't have hurt you so badly." He takes a deep breath, and I know that he is struggling to say these things. "As much as I love you, I wish you could have led a good, long, full life, a life I could never have had." His voice is choked, and I see his face contort slightly just before he buries it in my shoulder. I am shocked at first, but then I smile slightly and put my arms around him, gently stroking his back. His arms encircle me, and he holds me tightly in the void that we are floating in. As he draws a shaking breath against me, I whisper,

"And as full as that life may have been, it would have been empty." I lean over and gently kiss the top of his golden head. "Without you, I had nothing, nothing that could have made me happy or given me joy. Not even having our child or all of our friends surrounding me would have kept me from this fate." I feel a tear drip onto my shoulder, and he draws me to him even tighter. I do the same to him, crushing his body against mine as I rest my head against his own, gently kissing his neck beforehand. Finally, the first tears I have seen him shed in so long appear, but they are of joy, not sorrow, as I cry the same.

"I'm glad you're with me, Teef." he whispers, his voice choked. "Even though we're both dead, and we've gone through so much pain on account of each other, I'm glad you're here." I nod slightly against him.

"Me too, Cloud. Me too." A long time passes. Whether it is only several moments, several hours, several days, several weeks, several months, or several years, I do not know. But finally our tears subside, and my lover pulls away from me to look me in the eye.

"I love you, Tifa Lockheart." he says, and I smile.

"I love you, too, Cloud Strife." I reply. He takes me by the hands and stands to my side as the whiteness around us condenses into a small doorway in front of us.

"Let's go home, Tifa." he says. I nod, and he smiles, a true, joyful smile, the one that he would reveal only to me. Then we enter the light, and finally come home, our hearts healed and our souls united as one.

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Well, this time I only got about 6 pages on here. Oh, well. I thought it wasn't as good as the first one, but then again, I was half-asleep when I was writing it. Epilogue is next, and then I'm off to bed. Thanks for reading, and please leave a review! Arigato gozaimasu!

Fanatic


	2. Epilogue

Well, here's for the final chapter in this story. It's just an Epilogue, so it isn't as good as anything else. Honestly, I think I'm losing my touch. I'm better at writing from Cloud's POV, I swear. Anyways, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII (though I wish I did) or Square Soft/ Square Enix, or anything affiliated with them. Please do not sue me.

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**Epilogue**

I sat at the window of mine and Cloud's home in the Promised Land, gazing out over the fields of flowers. My hand rested on my very, very swollen belly, where my baby was kicking as much as it could, me being slightly overdue for its birth. A dull pain rested in my abdomen, where the baby's head was, but I ignored it as best I could and continued to watch Cloud spar with Sephiroth outside. Aeris sat nearby. Surprisingly, she was knitting. She was almost finished, and I could briefly make out the shape of something from around her back- she wouldn't let me see the item, saying it was a surprise. I smiled a little, but that was quenched as I felt a sudden, gut-wrenching pain from my womb. I gasped, my hand splaying itself over my belly, my heart pounding, as I realized what was happening. Aeris turned to me at my gasp, her brow creasing slightly.

"Aeris... get the doctor!" I breathed. "My water just broke!" Her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, and she dropped her knitting, dashing out the door. I glanced out the window to see Cloud watch her run past before darting inside, himself. Cloud, help me! Another contraction wrenched my stomach just as my love arrived, sweaty with dirt smeared across his forehead, and I whimpered a little before attempting to stand.

"Tifa!" he exclaimed, and easily lifted me, bridal style, to carry me up to our bedroom. He glanced at Sephiroth as the silver-haired man entered the room as well. "Seph, get some towels and hot water, on the double!" Sephiroth actually managed to imitate Aeris fairly well as the implications of Cloud's order sunk in, and the ex-general disappeared instantly to fetch the required items. However, I only briefly registered all of this before another contraction hit, and I cried out, tears coming to my eyes. God, it hurts, it hurts so much! Please, make it stop!

"Cloud, help!" I gasped out, clenching my eyes shut. Cloud's worried face was revealed to me for an instant, and then he made his way up the stairs as quickly as he could without knocking my head against the walls or door posts. Within mere moments, I was lying in the familiar contours of our bed, the four posts looming above me as I involuntarily arched my back in pain. Cloud quickly stripped me of the Capri's that I was wearing, and of my underwear, as well, and helped me put on a long, green t-shirt that I had often used as a nightgown. I saw him pale slightly, and I wondered why before I glimpsed his hands: they were covered with blood. My blood. If this were any other time, I would have laughed at him for it, but at the moment, I was in pain, so I didn't. Another contraction hit, and I arched my back with a cry. Cloud laid a hand on my belly, eyes wide and fearful as he tried to comfort me, and he gave me his hand to hold, and put a random piece of cloth in my mouth. Sephiroth came up, struggling under the weight of the water and towels, and Cloud left my side to take half the load from our friend before they both made their way over to me. Aeris appeared a second later, the doctor- a young, yet balding man- in tow. I arched my back again, biting back a scream, and I felt warm blood gush out over the insides of my thighs for a second before my mind barely registered a loud 'whump!' I looked over to see Cloud passed out on the floor, and despite my current condition, I couldn't stifle a snicker before another contraction wracked my body, and all else was driven out of my mind. Cloud, when you wake up, I'm going to kill you all over again!

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I fell back onto the bed again with a gasp, my sweaty hair clinging to my face as I struggled to find the strength to push again.

"I can see the head! Push, girl, push!" came the doctor's voice from near my legs. I ground my teeth. Don't you think that's what I'm trying to do! I felt more than heard Cloud's reassuring words from my side. He had woken up only moments after he had passed out, and had steeled himself, it seemed, against seeing my blood. Since then, he had been by my side, allowing me to crush his hand in a vice-like grip. It had long ago turned purple, but I paid it no heed.

"Come on, Tifa." I heard him say, and I looked over at him, exhausted as we all were. "Only a couple more pushes, and we're home free. You can do it." He looked somewhat thoughtful, and then, surprisingly, he clambered onto the bed, lifting me up so that he could sit with me between his legs. I winced badly as another contraction sent tremors through my already sore body, but as soon as I felt his comforting arms around me, the pain seemed to ebb a little. He was lending me strength, and I could feel it.

"You can do it, Tifa." he whispered into my ear. "You're strong. You defeated JENOVA and Sephiroth by my side. Now it's my turn to stand by you, but I still need your help." Gasping for breath, I nodded, and pushed again with all my might, arching my back against my husband as I let loose a feral cry, my final one. Cloudithurtsithurtspleasemakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstop! And then it was gone. All of the pressure was gone, all of the pangs of the birthing. All I knew then was a baby's first hoarse cry echoing into my ears, as I collapsed, exhausted beyond words, against my husband of 8 months, my Cloud. The doctor appeared a few moments later, beckoning to my husband, and Cloud slipped, trembling, out from behind me. Aeris was at my side, rubbing my shoulder, beaming down at me with a sisterly sort of pride and joy. Then she glanced down at the foot of the bed as I grimaced from a very mild contraction, and I looked up to see my beloved staring down in wonder at a small bundle held in his hands. He caught my gaze and walked over to me, his eyes drifting back to our baby. Aeris smiled and got up, moving aside so that Cloud could place the now-quiet, red bundle in my arms, and for the first time, but most certainly not the last, I gazed upon my baby.

"It's a girl." he said quietly with a smile. I looked up at him, a small, proud grin playing with the corners of my lips, before turning my wine-colored eyes back upon my- our- daughter. Her own irises had not yet been revealed, but from what I could see, she would have the shape of my face and mouth, but she would have Cloud's eyes and nose. She already had his thoughtful forehead- it was scrunched just like his did whenever he was lost in memories or just thoughts in particular- and her expression was one I'd never forget. I love you already, little one.

"Date of Birth: March 3. Year: 3195. Birth Place: The Promised Land. Name...?" the doctor said, writing down everything that he was saying. I looked up at Cloud, whose expression was mirroring our daughter's at the moment. Finally he cast his gaze to our daughter.

"Rinoa." he said after a moment of thought. "Rinoa Strife." He looked up at me for approval, and I shook my head. He looked confused for a second, before I embellished:

"Rinoa Raine Strife. I've always been fond of the name Raine." He grinned.

"Rinoa Raine Strife it is, then."

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Now I watch my husband sleep in the chair next to our bed, my infant daughter cradled against my breast. We are all exhausted, but I can't seem to find sleep yet. Briefly I wonder how our friends are doing back in the world of the living, and I feel another pang of guilt for leaving them all behind like I did. I'm sorry, everyone. I suppose I will always feel guilty for leaving you like I did. I am eternally grateful for all that you all have ever done for me. I'll see you again someday. I look down at my daughter and husband, and gently run my fingers through his naturally spiked, golden hair. I love you, Cloud. I turn my gaze to my daughter, and ease her up to place a soft kiss on the top of her head. And I love you, too, Rinoa Raine. I sigh in contentedness as I lightly grip Cloud's broken, bandaged hand. My last thoughts before succumbing to sleep are: I have, at last, found my final heaven. And I will never let it go.

END.

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Hm. Only 3 pages. But at least it ended better than Angel did, though they're still dead. 9.9 I really need to stop killing off all the good characters. Oh, well. Please leave a review, and feel free to flame if you want. If you want me to continue, I will, or I could start a series of FFVIII or something similar. Well, I gotta go, so until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand. Bye!

Fanatic


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